


It Stings

by Write_in_Red



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brother Feels, M/M, Tattoo Fic, major character death - kind of...?, non-specific narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 17:58:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5215274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Write_in_Red/pseuds/Write_in_Red
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tattoos take on a whole new meaning when he's gone</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Stings

**Author's Note:**

> This is SUPER old, like 2010 old. I'm pretty sure it's one of the first fics I felt interested enough to seek feedback for and then follow through with posting. Found this on my Livejournal the other day, and figured, "why the hell not,"...lol. Please bear in mind that I've grown as a writer; and I wanted to tear parts of this apart but totally didn't.

_It stings._

I’m not sure what I’m referring to, the pain from the needle injecting ink into my skin or if it’s deeper. The buzz of the tattoo gun is almost soothing, lulling me into a meditative state of sorts. I should probably be paying more attention to my surroundings while I’m under the gun; but I can’t bring myself to work up the energy.

_I miss him._

I miss waking up each day knowing that he would be beside me. I miss his warmth, his laughter, his smile. So many things I didn’t appreciate when I had the chance, and now he’s gone. The girl inking me pulls the needle away from my skin and dabs at the drops of blood that are beginning to pool at the edges of my new mark. I take a deep breath as she starts back again, and then I fall into the fog again.

Getting this tattoo reminds me of the other one I have, the one we shared. Now I’ll have a mark all my own…and it doesn’t fill me with joy, or even the peace the other brought. It’s just one more thing I get to do that he won’t ever have the chance to. Though I know he would never do anything like this, putting something on his body to mark himself without really needing a specific reason. The other tattoo had a purpose, it was protection. It worked, kept the demons out. Check. This tattoo? It’s all about him. It’s to remind me what that deep ache in my soul is. But it’s more than that. It will remind me not only that he’s gone, but that he lived. Here…with me…

_God, how I miss him. So much sometimes that I forget to breath…_

She’s about done. Finally. I feel like I have been sitting here for years. When the she lays down the gun and starts the cleanup, I start pulling myself back together. As she explains the aftercare procedures for new tattoos I pull down the collar of my shirt to expose the other tattoo for a moment; going through the action brings memories of us showing that tattoo to another girl in close to the same way, a bittersweet smile crosses my face.

After paying for the work, I thank the girl and head outside. The sun is bright and gleams off the classic car in the parking lot. I approach the driver’s side door and just lean against it. I know I’m supposed to keep the bandage on for a while, but I _need_ to see it. I tug the tape from my skin and gaze down at the mark on my right wrist. It’s exactly what I wanted. I wonder what others will see when they look at it. Will they understand? It’s doubtful, but it doesn’t really matter anyway. I’m satisfied. 

Before I seal it back up I run my finger around the edge and across the middle of the fresh ink. _It stings._ But it reminds me all the same. I slide into the seat and start the car. It’s time to get on the road. I have someplace I have to be.

**Author's Note:**

> To see the tattoo "art" [click here](http://tinypic.com/m/ayars0/4). Aside from one of my first fumblings in fic writing, this was one of the first time's I'd worked in GIMP or a photo editor outside of a class assignment. It's kind of painful to look at. Also, I went by Pyr0_Grl before I changed my name to Write_in_red. :P Original posting of fic is found [this](http://write-in-red.livejournal.com/6963.html>here</a>.%0A%0AThe%20tattoo,%20if%20anyone%20is%20curious,%20is%20supposed%20to%20the%20abigram%20of%20<a%20href=). 
> 
> I also didn't have this tattoo when I wrote this, but did end up getting it a couple months later.


End file.
